By Kingdavid Chinaeke Ofunne.
After Church, I decided to unwind at an outdoor bar by the pool with two close friends.
We were having a great conversation about my book Water and Fire under the serene view and beautiful sights when one of my friends after reading out loud a chapter of my book that talks about feminism and gender equality, had a very solid and unusual perspective and made his opinion verbal.
Initially, I thought it was absurd and probably the wine talking, but he presented his case with so much stew, I was left with nothing but accolades even though I refused to become a believer.
“WOMAN WAS CREATED AS AN AFTERTHOUGHT!”
All eyes were on him now and with the flair and charisma of a seasoned orator, although not a Cicero or a Martin Luther King, he continued.
“So God said after all had been created, it is not good for the man to be alone so let us make him a helper.”
“True,” I replied. “So, how does that make the woman an afterthought?”
“You see, she wasn’t in God’s original plan. She was an afterthought, but don’t get your dicks hard yet boys,” he said. “It wasn’t in a bad way, she was a perfect afterthought, to help the man spiritually, mentally, psychologically and even financially.
“The woman was created as a helper to support the man and not to rival or equal him. You see God had to kill the man to create her, that’s how serious and special she is.” He surmised.
“Ha, Bros which way?” the other friend present, protested.
I kept quiet, sipping my Johnny walker and listening, waiting and watching.
“Allow the man continue I said”
“Thank you able Authorpreneur.” he replied and poured a drink from another bottle resting idly on the table.
“In God’s original plan, there is only man, that’s why we have only references to the son of man and not daughter of man as recorded in the Bible.”
“Wait,” the other friend interrupted. “You said God killed the man to make the woman, are you saying Adam died for Eve to be made?”
“Yes sir,” he said. “In the Bible when ever the word ‘and he slept’ was used, it meant death. When Lazarus died Jesus told his disciples first that Lazarus was sleeping but when he noticed their ignorance and inability to comprehend spiritual wordings he had to be direct with them.
So when the Bible recorded that Adam was put in a deep sleep, my brother Adam was dead until Eve was created from his rib.”
“Point one I said. Go on.”
“This one strong.” the friend said.
“Thank you, he continued. God said let us make man in our own image and likeness meaning the idea was a man and not a woman but after He created man, he realized that the man needed a woman to complete his destiny and so the woman was formed as a helper to the man.
Maybe there were women in heaven before then o, I don’t know, maybe the first man had no penis, and it was given to him after the woman was formed, I don’t know, I know there are no recorded female angels and I also know that in God’s original plan the woman was not involved, she was an afterthought but not in a bad way, rather in a perfect and timely way so all these feminists out there should stop fighting and calling themselves daughter of man as opposed to son of man or Kings as opposed to Queens because they are unique and specially made to be a supporter and a helper in any capacity, be it in the capacity of a ruler, leader and follower, the woman was formed to help and support not rival and compete with the man in the place of relationship and marriage.
He sat down feeling satisfied and justified.
I dropped my glass and looked at him.
“As an afterthought I added, if there were no female then why did God create the animals in two’s, both male and female it was recorded that he created them both. Doesn’t that suggest that the woman was not an afterthought but a Masterplan that was meant to be implemented during the first Creation.”
Again the bible recorded that God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created man, both male and female.
“I Kingdavid Chinaeke Ofunne Authorpreneur oppose the notion that the woman is an afterthought, she is rather an upgraded version of God’s first and original plan which included her from the beginning.”
She was a timely intervention that needed everything to be on ground and perfectly made for her to be introduced.
God waited and used the man to do the heavy work, name the animals, tend the garden and even the tress and fruits, then he introduced the main surprise package as He had intended from the very beginning.
Look the woman was and is God’s Masterpiece.
He didn’t create her from dirt and dust like the man
He created her from flesh and bones
He created her from very good
Everything God created was good until he created man, then it was very good
The woman was created from very good
The woman was not created from the man, she was created of the man!!!
She was created to cure man of his loneliness and compliment him, not to be under him as these misguided pastors and misogynists want us to believe
See, God said let us make man
Man here means mankind or human kind not manhood
God is a community
A community of three, the Trinity
So his creation will always reflect his nature
When he said let us make man in our image and likeness, he meant man and woman alike.
Man and woman ruling as equals, was and is God’s intended plan, just like the Trinity
The woman was created of the man but that does not mean she is lesser, rather it means she completes him and when the man and woman marries, they become one again.
Both are Incomplete without the other!!!
The woman was created as a helper just like God is our helper
Several scriptures cites God as our helper, Exodus 18:4, Hebrews 13:6, John 14:26, etc… Does it mean God is lower or lesser than us?
No, helper means a lot more than mother of Children, home manager, kitchen deputy or house wife!!!
Okay Bible scholars and Christians believed God created the best last, after all he made man last as his crown of creation
If we are to go by that argument, shouldn’t the woman then be the crown of crowns, considering she is actually the last to be created?
The woman therefore is the crown of crowns in the creation story
She is the bedrock of creation
The icing of man
She is God’s climax
Look…the woman is and was never an afterthought.
She was God’s winning card all along before Jesus came in flesh.
Men and women are ontologically equal, none is subordinate to the other.
We laughed and drank some more and watched the blue sky turn yellow from the scorching harmattan sun which wouldn’t allow us enjoy a great outside time and since we didn’t come with our swimming trunks or maybe both of them were fat and too overweight to swim, I alone jumped into the pool and swam with the expertise of a fish, allowing the cool water massage my tension, trigger an erection and finger my emotions. I almost climaxed at the beauty, peace and serenity of the swimming affair.
Before some daughters of Eve came to spoil things for me with heavy backsides and pointed nipples.
Today isn’t the day to sell my book Water and Fire to them, today I just wanna hangout and enjoy myself with my guys.
Please it’s Sunday
Lead me not into temptation
This is love making in sweet serendipity for me.
This is not the original version, this is the revised edition.
P.S. I will appreciate it if you Kindly follow my blog, place your likes and comment your opinions as we motivate the Alpha Female in us.